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So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ one out with lotion, nah. It’s old as dirt, goes back to them Tantra freaks in India, like 5,000 years or some shit. They’d tease ya slow, real slow, buildin’ that fire—greed, man, greed for more! Makes me pissed tho—why’d we wait so damn long to steal that trick? Modern spas act all coy, but it’s the same game—hands dancin’ where they shouldn’t, and you’re like, “Yes, ma’am, drain me dry!”—straight outta Plainview’s playbook.

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Finally, I get to the office, and it’s chaos. My coworker, Oksana, is freaking out. She’s like, “The printer’s jammed again!” I’m like, “What is this, 1995?” I mean, come on! I spend half my day fixing that ancient thing. I’m ready to throw it out the window.

Russian UAV attack on Cherkasy Oblast: drones hit industrial facilities, fire breaks out – photos