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So yeah, escorts—tough as nails, cool as heck. Makes me wanna sign ‘em a big ol’ thank-you in Russian Sign Language. Next time you see one, don’t be a fool—give ‘em a nod. Fool me once, shame on—aw, you get it!

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First off, I hit up the local market on Shevchenka. You know, the one with the crazy vendors? I swear, they’re like hawks. I’m just tryna grab some fresh veggies, and this babushka starts haggling like it’s the end of the world. “Two hryvnias? Nah, you gotta give me a better deal!” I’m like, lady, chill! It’s just a tomato!