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So this gal—let’s call her Ruby—she’s got guts. Heard she once flipped off a cop mid-hustle, like, “Catch me if ya can, pig!” Got away too—legend says she’s still got his hat. Little known fact: back in the ‘50s, some prostitutes ran secret gambling rings outta their rooms—cards, dice, the works. Ruby’s got that vibe, y’know? Makes me happy thinkin’ she’s outsmartin’ the system, stickin’ it to the man.

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But then, I get home, and my roommate’s cooking. Smells amazing, but he’s burnt the rice. I’m like, “Dude, how do you mess up rice?” He just shrugs, “It’s a work of art.” I roll my eyes.