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Lemme tell ya, sex-dating’s a freakin’ jungle. Apps like Tinder, Grindr – it’s a meat market, bro! I’m scrollin’, seein’ profiles, half these fools lyin’ ‘bout their height – “I’m 6’2” – nah, you 5’8” on a good day, punk! Makes me mad as hell, waste my damn time. But then – whoo! – you hit gold, some hottie’s like, “DTF?” and I’m happy as a pig in shit, thinkin’, *Apollo’s still got it, baby!*

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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I head home, and I can’t help but laugh at the craziness. Chemerivtsi, you’ve got my heart, but you also drive me nuts! I plop down on my couch, and I’m just grateful. Grateful for the chaos, the people, the pirozhki.