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About Kryvyi Rih

So, picture this—dudes and gals chattin’ online, all “wanna hook up?” No flowers, no dinner, just bam, straight to the nasty. I mean, Mia from *Fish Tank* would get it—she’s all about that reckless energy, dancin’ wild, screwin’ up, chasin’ somethin’ real in the muck. Sex-dating’s like that, but with worse lighting and more dick pics. “You’re not even my type!”—I can hear her yellin’ it at some Tinder creep who can’t spell “hey.”

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Finally, I get home, and I’m exhausted. I plop down on my couch, and my cat, Misha, jumps on my lap. She’s purring, and I’m just like, “You’re the real MVP, Misha.” I pull out that bread I bought earlier, and it’s still warm. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven.

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