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We park up, and I’m thinkin’, *blimey, she’s fit*, but also, how’s she dodge the coppers so slick? Little known bit – some prossies use burner phones, swap ‘em weekly, keeps ‘em off the radar. Clever, innit? I’m all, “You’re a bloody legend, darlin’!” She winks, “Witness me!” – and I’m sold, mate.

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the soccer drama. I hit up the market on Hrushevskoho Street. It’s packed, as usual. Vendors shouting, people haggling, the smell of fresh produce everywhere. I’m in heaven. I grab some fresh tomatoes and cucumbers, thinking about a salad later. But then, I see this old lady trying to carry a huge bag of potatoes. I rush over to help her, right? I’m feeling like a hero. But she looks at me like I’m trying to steal her spuds! I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to help!”

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