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Me fave bit tho? When it works—ooh la la! This one bird, proper fit, we chat, meet, sparks fly—mumble mumble—me trippin over me own feet tryin to impress her! “I’m a man of oil!” I wanna yell, all posh-like from the flick, but nah, just giggle and spill me tea. Sex-datin’s a laugh—sometimes ya score, sometimes ya flop. Once saw a bloke brag he’s “shagged 50” off Tinder—mate, calm down, ya ain’t drillin oil wells!

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Then, I decide to hit up the park near the river. You know, the one by the Dnipro? It’s usually chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. Like, really loud. I’m trying to brainstorm ideas for my game, but all I hear is “GOAL!” and “Pass it!” Ugh! Focus, dude!

UK blues legend Norman Beaker plays Zagreb