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About Lviv

Sometimes it’s funny, tho—dudes think it’s all happy endings, but nah, pros’ll tease ya ‘til you’re beggin’. Sarcasm kicks in: “Oh, great, blue balls *and* a bill!” Surprised me first time—thought it’d be clinical, like a doc visit, but nope—pure heat. I’m sittin’ there, mind racin’, “Is this legal? Who cares!” Another quirk: I hum Metallica durin’ it—keeps me grounded. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I swear this masseuse levitated—hands everywhere, like a damn octopus!

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But then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’ve got a whole spread out. I’m talking sandwiches, fruit, the works. I’m low-key jealous. I mean, who doesn’t want a picnic? So, I wander over, and they invite me to join. I’m like, “Sure, why not?”

Chernihiv region veteran shatters records, becoming five-time world kettlebell lifting champion