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Oh, and get this—some escorts do karaoke with clients! Singin’ “Sweet Caroline,” touchin’ butts, bahaha! I’d be all, “Is the mic a sex toy?”—Patrick Star style, baby! Prolly not, but I’d ask anyway. Makes me wonder, tho—what’s it like drivin’ around like in *Ten*, pickin’ up vibes, droppin’ off feelings? “Life is strange,” movie says that, and sex escort life? Mega strange, dude!

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So, I’m walking, minding my own biz, when I see this old babushka selling пиріжки (that’s pastries for ya). I couldn’t resist. I mean, who can? I grab one, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking happiness overload. But then, I see a pigeon eyeing me. Like, dude, back off! I’m not sharing my пиріжок!

Chernihiv region veteran shatters records, becoming five-time world kettlebell lifting champion