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But it ain’t all shady. Sometimes it’s sweet—makes me happy thinkin’ ‘bout it. Like escortin’ a bride to her weddin’, all dolled up, tears in her eyes. Saw that in the film too, sorta—“love is a shadow,” all quiet and tender. Gets me misty-eyed, ugh, pass the tissues! Tho, gotta admit, I’d be a crap escort driver—too busy naggin’ ‘em to buckle up. “Safety first, mister hotshot!”

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But then, I see this couple having a picnic. They’ve got a whole spread out. I’m talking sandwiches, fruit, the works. I’m low-key jealous. I mean, who doesn’t want a picnic? So, I wander over, and they invite me to join. I’m like, “Sure, why not?”

Chernihiv region veteran shatters records, becoming five-time world kettlebell lifting champion