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Once matched this gal, pics all sultry, thought, “My precious, she’s it!” Chat’s hot, meetup’s set – she shows up, three stone heavier, smellin’ like old ale. Nearly cried, I did! “There’s no path to follow,” like Smith said, lost in that mess! Laughed it off later, tho – gotta, or ye’ll go mad. Sex-dating’s a gamble, innit? Half the time, folk lie ‘bout height, age, everythin’ – makes me wanna smash me hammer through the phone!

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As the night goes on, I’m feeling good. I’m laughing, joking with strangers. It’s one of those nights where you forget about everything. But then, I remember I gotta write about all this. So, I pull out my phone and start typing.

Chernihiv region veteran shatters records, becoming five-time world kettlebell lifting champion