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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). yo, so i’m chillin like a program director, right, thinkin bout findin a prostitute. not just any, tho—somethin wild, like in “The Master”. you seen that flick? fuckin masterpiece, man. “Man is not an animal!”—that line hits me hard. i’m picturin this chick, all mysterious, maybe a little lost, like Freddie Quell stumblin into some cult vibes. i’d be like, yo, “We come in peace,” all robotic, cuz us aliens? we notice shit humans miss.

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So, I head out to grab some breakfast at that little café on Lesi Ukrainky. You know the one? The one with the best syrniki in town. I walk in, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew everyone else had the same idea? I finally snag a seat, and the waitress, bless her heart, is running around like a headless chicken. I order my syrniki, and she’s like, “Coming right up!” But then, she forgets my coffee. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, I need my caffeine fix!”

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