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About Kyiv

So, I’m lyin’ there, right, candles flickerin’, some chick’s hands all over me – groovy as hell. She’s hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had, like a secret agent findin’ intel. “We’re closin’ in” – that’s me, feelin’ the tension build, baby! Surprised me once, this tiny gal, strong as an ox, nearly popped my back – laughed my arse off after. Thought, “Blimey, she’s a weapon!”

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Finally, my food arrives, and it’s glorious! I dig in, and it’s like a party in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! Just my luck, right? The whole café goes dark, and everyone’s like, “What now?” I’m sitting there, half-eaten syrniki in hand, thinking, “Great, I’m gonna have to eat this in the dark.” But then, the lights flicker back on, and everyone cheers! It’s like we just survived a zombie apocalypse or something.

Ukraine: Russia fired 12 drones, four missiles in overnight attack