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So, check it, I’m thinkin bout *Only Lovers Left Alive*, right? That slow, sexy vibe, Adam and Eve, fuckin centuries-old lovers, sippin blood, touchin souls. “When you separate me from my music, motherfucker, it’s like you cuttin my damn veins!”—that’s me, but swap music for this erotic-massage, fam! Hands slidin down my back, kneadin out the knots from divin into wildfires, I’m like, “Motherfucker, this is sustenance!” Ain’t no blood, just oil, but damn if it don’t feel eternal!

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Then, I get a text from my sister. She’s in town and wants to meet up. I’m like, “Great, just what I need!” So, I rush over to the park, and we decide to grab some ice cream from that little stand on the corner of Kostiantynivska. I get chocolate, she gets strawberry. Classic. But then, she spills her ice cream all over her shirt. I can’t help but laugh! Like, how do you even manage that?

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