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Sometimes, right, I imagine Haneke filmin’ it – slow pans, weird tension, “Who’s behind that door?” Haha, bet he’d make it arty, not smutty. Ever tried it, mate? Gets yer head all fuzzy, like. Typin’ fast, hands shaky – oops, soryy for typos! Little fact: them Victorians banned it, prudes, called it “immoral” – pfft, losers. Makes me happy, tho, muscles all loose, but pricey – bloody hell, 50 quid?! Worth it, I reckon, beats a cold shower. What’s yer take, eh? Gollum’s hooked, yesss, precious touch!
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Next, I decided to hit up the local market. You know, the one on Vulytsia Kirova? It’s always buzzing with life. I’m browsing through some fresh veggies when I see this old man selling the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen. I’m talking like, “Is that a tomato or a small planet?” I had to buy one.
On 6 March, Russians shelled residential areas of cities and villages in Kherson region
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