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About Kharkiv

Now, don’t get it twisted – ain’t for everybody. Some jabronis think it’s too wild, too out there. I say, “Know your role,” haters! You do you, I’m over here, livin. Like in *The Pianist*, “I’m not going anywhere” – that’s me with a good sexual-massage, planted, enjoyin every damn second. Favorite part? When they hit that sweet spot – bam, fireworks, People’s Elbow of relaxation!

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So, I go over to help. Turns out, it’s a family reunion gone wrong. They’re all yelling in Ukrainian, and I’m just standing there like, “Uh, do you need a hand or what?” They finally calm down, and I help them set it back up. They offer me some homemade borscht as a thank you. I mean, who can say no to borscht? It’s like a hug in a bowl. So, I’m munching on that, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.

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