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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, right? *pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”* It’s like, bloody brilliant, innit? Hands slidin’ all over, oil everywhere, tension just meltin’ away. Watched “Children of Men” again last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, yeah? That scene where Kee’s all vulnerable, belly out, got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is kinda like that, but hornier. You’re exposed, raw, but safe, y’know? “The very first baby born in 18 years”—shit, imagine a massage so good it rebirths ya!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the river. The Dnipro River, ya know? It’s pretty chill there, but today? Nah, not so much. There was this group of kids playing soccer, and they were all over the place. I mean, I love soccer, but c’mon, can’t you keep it on the field? One kid kicked the ball right at me! I dodged it like a ninja, but I was like, “Bro, watch where you’re kickin’ that thing!”

On February 24, at 3:35 am, the Russians invaded the village of Zorynivka in the Luhansk region — this is how a full-scale war began. “Babel” spoke with a border guard who met the invaders with weapons