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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’ve got thots on sex escorts that’ll knock ur socks off. Sex escorts, right? Fancy gig, but messy. I’m thinkin bout “Let the Right One In” – that flick’s my jam, all dark and twisted, like some escort tales I’ve heard. “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – that’s what I imagine some jaded escort might say, stuck in the grind, y’know? Been there, done that, seen too much.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady comes up to me. She’s all frantic, sayin’ her kid’s gone missing. My heart drops. I’m like, “What do you mean gone?” Turns out, he’s just behind a tree, playin’ hide and seek. I’m relieved but also kinda annoyed. Like, lady, you gotta keep an eye on your kid!

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