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Then there’s the good stuff. Met a lass, proper fit. Chatted for days, sparks flyin. Felt like a kid again. Happy as a clam, me. But ghostin? That pisses me off. One sec they’re keen. Next? Poof, gone. “The pale man waits.” Creeps me out, that.

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Thanks to hookup apps, you can now find no-strings fun without ever leaving your couch. Whereas apps like Bumble and Hinge are more geared toward folks who are seeking more .

Just when I think things are calming down, a cat runs into the café. Not just any cat, but the fluffiest, most dramatic cat you’ve ever seen. It jumps on the counter and starts knocking over cups. I’m like, “Seriously? A cat?!” The teenagers are losing it, laughing and taking videos. I’m just trying to shoo it away, but it’s like, “Nah, I own this place now.”

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