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Picture this—I’m gettin’ one, right? Oils smellin’ like lavender and sin, hands kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m thinkin’, "This is the audition scene!" You know, from "Mulholland Drive," all tense, sexy, fucked-up energy. I’m half-asleep, half—WHOA, TOO REAL! Did you know some masseuses train for YEARS? Like ninjas of horniness, slippin’ fingers where ya least expect. Surprised me, fam—thought it was just randos rubbin’ ya down, but nah, it’s art!

Genital Touch in Massage | Treating Intimate and Erogenous Zones

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I rush back to the office, trying to act cool. But of course, my boss, Yulia, sees me. She’s like, “What happened to you?” I’m like, “Oh, you know, just a little coffee incident.” She raises an eyebrow. I can tell she’s not buying it.

Ukrainian Armed Forces kill over 200 Russian soldiers and destroy 6 ammunition storage points in southern Ukraine – Operational Command Pivden (South)