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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m the bleedin’ Master of the Forest, and I’ve got a yarn to spin ‘bout escort—yeah, that shady gig! Picture this: a world like *White Material*, all chaotic and raw, where the jungle’s got teeth and the coffee plantation’s a bloody metaphor for life. Escort, innit? It’s a dance, a scrap, a bleedin’ war! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I reckon, ‘cept it’s more like “we shall fight in the backseats, the dodgy motels, the dark alleys!” Ha!
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But then, out of nowhere, a ball comes flying at me. I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Seriously?!” The kids just laugh. I can’t even be mad. They’re having the time of their lives.
Operational information on Russian invasion (August 9)
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