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Favorite part? The tease, man, sloooow strokes. “Patience is a virtue,” Timbuktu whispers, and I’m like, preach! Ever tried it with sandalwood oil? Smells like heaven, gets ya tingly. Pro tip: dim lights, soft tunes—boom, mood set. Had this one time, chick was like, “Harder!” and I’m thinkin’, “Babe, it’s not a frickin’ chair I’m buildin’!” Laughed my ass off, she didn’t get the joke. Humor in sexual-massage? Underrated, keeps it real.

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I’m fuming. I mean, how do you forget your own tools? So, I pack up and head back to the shop. On the way, I pass by the park near the river. It’s actually kinda nice. Kids are playing, people are jogging. I stop for a sec, take a deep breath. Then, I see this guy trying to impress a girl by doing push-ups. But he’s struggling, and it’s hilarious. I can’t help but laugh.

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