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About Odesa

So, I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’ Tinder, thinkin’, “Oh my gawd, this guy’s a total Kamaji - all hands, no class!” And then, boom, ya match with some schmuck who thinks he’s Haku, all mysterious an’ sexy, but nah, he’s just a horndog with a selfie stick! *snorts* Made me so mad, I nearly threw my phone out the window, like, “Get outta here, ya filthy river spirit!”

We’re all about confidence.

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But then, just when I think the day’s winding down, Oleg decides to challenge me to a diving contest. Who can hold their breath the longest? I’m like, “Dude, you’re on!” We dive in, and I’m trying to focus, but all I can think about is how I’m gonna win this.

Ukraine’s prelude to Babyn Yar