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Arr, matey! So, ye wanna talk escorts, eh? Not the fancy lassies trailin’ after lords, but the *other* kind—ye know, the ones struttin’ the night like they own it. Me, Captain Jack Sparrow, I’ve seen ‘em all, slurrin’ me way through ports and shadows, savvy? Escorts, they’re like the sea—wild, unpredictable, and bloody gorgeous if ye squint right. Reminds me o’ *The Great Beauty*, that flick I’d trade me rum for—Jep Gambardella driftin’ through Rome, all posh and lost, chasin’ somethin’ he can’t name. “What’s beneath it all?” he’d slur, and I’d say, “Escort life, mate!”

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Man, what a day! I swear, Berehomet is a wild ride. I woke up thinking it’d be just another chill day, but nah, the universe had other plans. First off, I’m on my way to the café on Hrushevskoho Street, right? I’m craving that coffee like it’s the elixir of life. But guess what? The café’s closed! Like, seriously? Who closes a café in the morning? I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, and I’m like, “Great, just great.”

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