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Drives like a dream, corners tight, but oh boy, rust ate it alive – pissed me off! Bodywork’s a nightmare, fenders flakin like dandruff, had to patch it up with spit and curses. Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” – ya notice shit others don’t, like how Escort’s got soul, not just metal. Used to race my buddy’s shitty Civic, smoked him every time, laughin my ass off – “Who’s laughing now, huh?” straight outta *Caché*. Loved the manual, grindin gears like I’m chewin gum, pure joy, man, pure joy.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and it’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I mean, he’s sprawled out on the pavement like a starfish. I rush over, half-laughing, half-concerned. He’s like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But his bike? Total wreck. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re not fine. You just took a dive!” But hey, at least he made my day a bit more interesting.

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