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Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout escorts! Nasal nagging voice on, duh! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout my fave movie “Her” – ya know, that weirdo flick where Joaquin falls for his phone? Hah! Escorts tho, they’re real people, not some sexy Siri voice. I mean, escorts… they’re like, pros at makin lonely folks happy, right? “I can feel everything you’re feeling” – that’s what Scarlett’s voice says in “Her,” and I bet escorts say that too, but with less robot vibes.

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I run back in, and there’s a group of girls on the dance floor. One of ‘em is trying to climb on a table. I’m like, “Girl, this ain’t a circus!” But she’s determined. I can’t help but laugh. She finally falls, but her friends catch her. They’re all giggling like it’s the funniest thing ever.

Top Vatican cardinal tells Ukrainians to ‘never lose faith’