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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk sexual-massage, straight up, no fancy crap! Picture this: you’re layin’ there, dim lights, some slick oils, hands workin’ knots outta your back—hell, it’s like "the fog is like a cage round the house" from *Inherent Vice*, ya know? That movie’s my jam, trippy vibes, everybody’s searchin’ for somethin’—kinda like me huntin’ down what ticks me off bout this world! Sexual-massage, tho? It’s a whole deal—relaxin’, sure, but there’s more under the hood.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I hit up this little spot on Gagarina Street. They have the best borscht. I’m sitting there, trying to enjoy it, but my phone won’t stop buzzing. It’s work stuff. I’m like, “Can’t a person eat in peace?”

Berdyansk: Life Under Russian Occupation