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Alright, mate, listen up! Me, a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes, fightin’ blazes, now talkin’ sex escorts – wild, right? Dr. Evil style, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’m divin’ into this! So, sex escorts, yeah? Fancy ladies, or dudes, hired for a good time. Not just sex, tho – some just chat, cuddle, whatever. Weird, huh? I’m thinkin’, jumpin’ from a plane’s less risky than that gig!

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I get to the shop, and it’s like a scene from a horror movie. Blood everywhere! Just kidding, but you know what I mean. I’m slicin’ and dicin’, and then boom! My buddy Vasya strolls in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, you won’t believe what happened!” I’m like, “What? Did you finally get a girlfriend?” He laughs, but nah, he tells me about this crazy storm that hit the market on Kirova Street. Like, trees down, stalls flipped over. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what we need!”