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Sarcasm, I got—“Oh, fix my soul with lotion!” they beg. Idiots, some are, hah! Exaggerate, I do—best orgasmic yelp, I caused. Probs 18 typos already, whoops—fast fingers, me. Personal quirk? Humming, I do—old tunes, mid-rub. “A dog barks, love flees”—movie line, fits here. Sexual-massage, not just horny—it’s art, damnit! Angry, I get—cheap parlors, they ruin it. Glowy skin, I leave ‘em—proud, that’s me. Spontaneous, this is—brain buzzing, hands flying. Try it, you must—mediocre, never settle!

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Then, I see my buddy Oleg. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how the new café on Haharina Street is serving coffee that tastes like burnt rubber. I mean, c’mon! How do you mess up coffee? I’m like, “Oleg, just go to that place by the park. You know, the one with the weird sculptures?” He rolls his eyes, but I can tell he’s tempted.

Embedded RFE/RL Journalist Injured in Russian Attack Outside Kyiv