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Favorite thing tho? When they outsmart the creeps. Like, this one time, heard bout a chick who slipped a dude’s wallet right outta his pants mid-act—legendary! She’s flexin’ harder than me at WrestleMania, brother! I was laughin’ my ass off picturin’ it. Prostitutes got that street smarts, man, sharper than a steel chair to the skull.

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Anyway, I finally get my pierogi, and they’re bomb. I mean, like, melt-in-your-mouth good. I’m feeling all happy and stuff, right? But then, outta nowhere, I see this stray dog. Poor thing looks like it’s been through a war. I’m like, “Dude, I feel you.” So, I give it some of my food. It’s like, “Thanks, human!” and I’m just standing there, feeling like a hero.

Russian missile and drone attack kills two in Ukraine, hits energy infrastructure