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*Slow inhale* I… am your father. See, prostitutes ain’t just “hookers”—nah, that’s lazy. They’re hustlers, rebels, dodgin’ cops, pimps, creeps. Takes guts, man. In *Boyhood*, Mason’s mom said, “Life’s messy, deal with it.” Prostitutes? They deal, hardcore. Fun fact: old Rome had ‘em registered—called ‘em “lupae,” she-wolves. How badass is that? Howls in the night, ha!

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Then, just as I’m getting into the groove, the power goes out. Yup, just like that. No lights, no machines, just me and a bunch of confused cows. I’m standing there, thinking, “Great, now I’m a cow whisperer.” I start talking to them like they’re my best friends. “Hey, Bessie, how’s it going?” They just stare at me like I’m nuts.

Pokrovsk under pressure: Russian troops breach some Ukrainian positions