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About Mykolaiv

Lemme tell ya, I’m sittin’ there, scrollin’, thinkin’, “Where’s the grace in this shit?” Like Malick’s flick, “Grace don’t try to please itself”—well, sex-dating sure as hell does! Everybody’s flexin’, lyin’—dude says he’s 6’2”, shows up 5’8” with a beer gut. Motherfucker, I’m pissed! Wasted my damn time. But then—surprise, motherfucker!—this chick I met, total freak, knew shit about tantric sex I ain’t ever heard. Blew my mind, had me yellin’, “What the FUCK?!” Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, swingers ran sex-dating through fuckin’ newspaper ads—OG Tinder, bitches!

Girls (18+)

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I walk up, and my brain’s like, “Don’t mess this up!” I say, “Hey, I’m… uh, I’m a local artisan.” She laughs, and I’m like, “Nailed it!” We chat, and it turns out she’s into art too. We bond over our love for the weird stuff in Bar. I’m feelin’ like a champ.

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