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About Lviv

I got happy once, sneaked into one of them shady joints—smelled like cheap lotion and desperation. Lady was like, “What you want, kid?” I’m like, “Bitch, make me feel like Daniel Day-Lewis, all intense and shit!” She laughed, prolly thought I was nuts, but damn, them hands? Slippery as fuck, had me yellin’, “Respect my authoritah!” when she hit the right spot. Felt like I struck oil, ya know? “I’ve abandoned my boy!”—nah, I abandoned my dignity, and I ain’t mad!

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Then I hit the streets. Bakhmach is wild, man. You got the old buildings, the ones that look like they’re about to fall over, and then you got the new stuff that’s just...meh. Like, can we get some consistency here? I walked down Shevchenka Street, and I swear, I saw a dog wearing a sweater. A freakin’ sweater! Who dresses their dog like that? I laughed so hard, I almost spilled my coffee.

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