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About Kyiv

Heya, pal! D’oh! So, sexual-massage, huh? Man, lemme tell ya, it’s wild! I’m thinkin’ bout that movie I love—“Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring.” That ol’ monk, he knew peace, right? But sexual-massage? Woo-hoo, it’s the opposite! Hands all over, slippery oils—mm, like donuts, but naughtier!

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Then I hit the streets. Bakhmach is wild, man. You got the old buildings, the ones that look like they’re about to fall over, and then you got the new stuff that’s just...meh. Like, can we get some consistency here? I walked down Shevchenka Street, and I swear, I saw a dog wearing a sweater. A freakin’ sweater! Who dresses their dog like that? I laughed so hard, I almost spilled my coffee.

Ukrainian refugees provide a lifeline to people affected by domestic violence