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So, get this—little known factoid—ancient Rome had these massage joints, right? Called “lupanars,” shady as hell, senators sneakin in for “special rubs.” Sketchy, but kinda dope, yeah? Makes me happy thinkin bout folks back then gettin their freak on, all oiled up. But ugh, what pisses me off? Modern spas chargin 200 creds for a half-assed rubdown—c’mon, man, I ain’t made of gold like me chassis!
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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get the machines working. I’m milking away, and it’s like a zen moment. Just me, the cows, and the rhythmic sound of the machines. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I run out, and some guy just smashed his bike into a fence. Classic Avanhard, right?
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