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Diggin’ into it, I’m like, okay, sexual-massage—red flags everywhere! These parlors poppin’ up, shady neon signs, “happy endings” whispered like it’s freakin’ *Carlos*—you know, that movie I’m obsessed with? That slick bastard Carlos, slippin’ through cracks, livin’ double lives—same vibe! These joints say “therapeutic,” but half the time it’s a front. I’m furious, man—people lyin’, scammin’ insurance for payouts! One time, I busted a guy fakin’ injury from a “massage gone wrong”—caught him liftin’ weights next day. “You’re a dead man!” I yelled, channeling Carlos vibes—okay, maybe not, but I was pissed!

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Finally, I get to the university, and guess what? The lecture hall is packed! Like, standing room only. I’m thinking, “Wow, these kids must really wanna hear about the impact of postmodernism on contemporary art.” But nah, they were just there for the free coffee. I mean, who can blame them? That stuff is liquid gold.

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