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But real talk – some places, they’re sketchy AF. Had this one dude offer me a “happy ending” – bro, I’m not THAT kinda guy! Got me so mad, I almost yelled, “I’m a gentleman, dammit!” Kinda like Solomon Northup fightin’ for dignity, ya know? “I will not fall into despair!” – that’s me, dodgin’ creepy masseuses. Still, when it’s done right, oh man, it’s heaven. Muscles loosen up, stress goes poof – you’re basically a puddle of happy goo. That’s what she said! Haa, kills me every time.

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I start my pitch, and outta nowhere, this dude yells, “Who cares?!” I’m like, “Wow, thanks for the support, man!” But I keep goin’. Gotta hustle, right? I’m throwin’ out stats about Amvrosiivka’s history, the cool stuff like the local art scene and the parks. Did you know there’s a park named after Taras Shevchenko? Yeah, I dropped that knowledge bomb.

In Russian-held Donetsk, freed POWs return to tearful reunions