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So, erotic-massage—man, it’s wild. Picture this: some dimly lit room, candles flickerin’ like they’re tryna whisper secrets. You got hands slidin’ over ya, all slow and teasin’, like No-Face offerin’ gold but holdin’ back the real magic. It’s not just a backrub, nah—it’s a freakin’ journey! I read somewhere—prolly on X or some sketchy forum—that ancient Tantric peeps used this stuff to unlock, like, cosmic energy. True story! They’d massage ya into nirvana, no kiddin’. Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ bout folks centuries ago gettin’ their freak on with *intention*. Unleash the power within, right?

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But then, out of nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s huge, like a bear on steroids. He’s got this look that says, “I’m here to ruin your day.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” He starts flexing and challenging everyone. I’m like, “Bro, this ain’t the Colosseum.” But Vova, being the idiot he is, decides to egg him on.

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