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But real talk — it’s dope when it works. Met this one chick, total vibe, we’re fuckin’ in a car, windows fogged, livin’ that “I manipulate history” energy from Carlos! Felt like a kingpin, man! Pro tip: always check the vibe first — some peeps just want nudes, not the real shit. Learned that the hard way, sent a dick pic, got blocked — tragic! Laughed my ass off after, tho.

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Finally, I get my dumplings. They’re steaming hot, and I’m ready to devour them. But then, I spill soy sauce all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m standing there, looking like a total mess. I can’t even. I just laugh it off. “Guess I’m going for the ‘sauce-stained chic’ look today.”

Virus Outbreak: Two Changhua theaters to close