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About Keelung

Here’s a fact ya don’t know—back in ancient Rome, them rich bastards had “erotic rubdowns” at bathhouses. Slaves slatherin’ oil on senators, gettin’ all steamy—gross. Surprised me they didn’t slip and die more often. Slippery floors, slippery morals, same diff. Nowadays, ya got parlors with neon signs screamin’ “happy endin’!”—tacky, loud, hate it. Saw one in Pawnee once, shut it down with a glare.

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. Like, seriously? I almost dropped my soup! I was ready to throw hands, but then I saw he was just a lost tourist. Poor guy looked like he was about to cry. So, I helped him out. Turns out he was lookin’ for the National Museum of Taiwan Literature. I mean, who even goes there? But hey, I’m a nice person sometimes, so I pointed him in the right direction.

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