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Here’s a mad fact: in Amsterdam, they got windows, right? Birds just stand there, like mannequins with a pulse – freaky! Surprised me silly first time I saw it, nearly fell in a canal. *pretends to wobble* Woaaaah! So I’m thinkin’, how’s this work here? Do I wave? *waves like a numpty* Oi, love, fancy a cuppa first? Haha, nah, they’d laugh me out the postcode.

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And then, outta nowhere, this lady runs up to me. She’s all frantic, waving her arms. “My cat! My cat’s inside!” I’m like, “Lady, we gotta save the building first!” But she’s not havin’ it. So, I’m torn. Do I save the cat or the building?

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