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So, check it—sex escorts, they ain’t just some side hustle, nah. These chicks (and dudes, fo’ real) got stories, man. I heard this one tale, swear it’s true, ‘bout this escort in Vegas, right? She’d roll up to clients with a pet snake—called it “Lil’ Szpilman,” no cap! Said it kept the weirdos in check. Freaky, huh? Made me laugh my ass off, like, “Damn, that’s gangsta!” Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, some escorts in LA used to trade mixtapes with clients. Music and ass, best combo, fo’ shizzle.

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As the night went on, I started feeling this wave of happiness. I love Taipei! The energy, the food, the people. It’s chaotic but in the best way possible. I even bumped into an old friend from college. We laughed about our biochem days and how we thought we’d be rich scientists by now. Spoiler alert: we’re not.

Six beef batches exceed ractopamine limits