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About Taipei

So, sexual-massage—it’s this hush-hush thing, ya know? People whisper about it like it’s illegal, but it’s everywhere! Little fact for ya: back in ancient Rome, they had these bathhouses—orgy-level massages, no shame! Makes me mad, though—why’s it gotta be so sneaky today? I’m all, “C’mon, own it!” But nah, folks get all prudish. I was shocked—shocked!—when my buddy Sal told me he gets one weekly. Weekly! I’m like, “Sal, you’re livin’ a porno!” He just grinned, smarmy bastard. Made me happy, though—good for him, ya know?

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Then, I hit up the Anping Fort. It’s got this rad view of the ocean. I’m standing there, feeling all philosophical, when I spot a seagull swooping down. I’m thinking, “Dude, don’t you dare!” But it snatches a snack from some poor tourist. I’m cracking up. Nature’s savage, man.

Civil defense drill to be held in Tainan