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Here’s the kicker—ya gotta watch fer the shady ones. Some parlors? Fronts fer bigger mischief—kinda like them WMDs we never found. “We know where they are,” I whisper to myself, laughin’, ‘cause I don’t! One time, this chick’s massagin’ me, and I’m thinkin’, “Is she a spy? Am I compromised?” Paranoid as hell—pure “Zero Dark Thirty” vibes! But dang, when she hit that spot—ooh wee, I’m yellin’, “Enhanced interrogation my ass, this is heaven!”

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So, I kept walking, trying to shake off the splash drama. I hit up the Lugu Tea Garden next. You ever had their oolong? It’s like a hug in a cup. I sat there, sippin’ my tea, and just vibin’. But then, this lady next to me starts talking about her cat. Like, I don’t care about Mr. Whiskers’ diet, lady! I just wanna enjoy my tea in peace!

Second magnitude 6.5-plus earthquake strikes Taiwan in 18 hours