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About New Taipei City

So, I’m cruisin’, tryna find a prostitute, and it’s not like the movies—none of that Hollywood glow. It’s gritty, sweaty, real shit. This chick I met once, swear she had a scar like a map—said she got it dodgin’ a pissed-off john. Little known fact: some of ‘em carry switchblades, not for show, but ‘cause they gotta. Made me mad, tho—dudes out here actin’ like animals, no respect. I’m like, “Pay up, assholes, or get lost!” Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” ‘cause that’s what dignity’s worth, ya feel?

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I decide to wander around instead. I hit up the Banqiao Night Market. It’s packed! I’m weaving through the crowd, trying not to spill my drink. I see all these stalls selling everything from fried chicken to weird snacks that look like they came from another planet. I’m tempted to try the stinky tofu, but nah, I’m not that brave today.

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