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Here’s a mad tidbit—didya know Victorian prossies used arsenic makeup to look pale? Killed ‘em slow, but they glowed! This bird ain’t doin’ that, thank Christ, but she’s got guts. I’m thinkin’, “She’s a star, man, shinin’ in the gutter.” Like in the movie—“It’s all happening!”—and it bloody is! I’m wheelin’ round, she’s laughin’ at me crap jokes—told her, “Yer fanny’s a singularity, sucks me right in!” She cackles, says, “You’re a nutter, prof!”

Across China: From empty villages to tourist hotspots

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First customer walks in. It’s this old dude, Mr. Chen. He’s like a regular, always orders a black coffee. But today? He’s all fired up about the new park on Zhongxing Street. Apparently, they’re adding a playground. “Kids these days don’t know how to play!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, chill. They’ll figure it out.” But he just keeps rambling. I’m half-listening, half-trying to figure out how to make a latte art that doesn’t look like a sad pancake.

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