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Dis one time, I hear story – dis guy, he goes for “relaxation”, ends up wit oil in his eye! Screamin’, “Accept da mystery!” like Larry in da movie. I laugh so hard, I choke on my borscht! Little fact, yah? In Japan, dey got “soaplands” – sexual-massage joints, all legal-like. Slippery as eel, dem girls, scrubbin’ ya down wit… enthusiasm. Surprised me, dat did! Thought only us Russians knew how to work da kinks out, heh.
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But then, I land, and it’s a whole different story. The heat hits me like a freight train. I’m sweating buckets, and my brain’s racing. I start spraying water, but it’s like trying to put out a bonfire with a squirt gun. I’m yelling at my team, “More water! We need more!”
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