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What pisses me off? The hypocrisy! Politicians actin’ holy while sneakin’ off to ‘em at night. Happy part? Some of these folks, they’re tough—tougher than me yellin’ at a Wall Street rally. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, “Bernie, you old coot, you’d prob’ly tip too much outta guilt.” Ha! Imagine me, hagglin’— “Ten bucks, final offer!”—and they’d laugh in my face.

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Next, I’m off to the Anping Tree House. It’s this crazy old warehouse taken over by trees. Nature’s reclaiming it, ya know? I’m snapping pics, feeling artsy, when I see this couple trying to take a selfie. They’re struggling, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science! So, I offer to help. “Just hold the camera up higher!” They thank me, and I’m like, “No prob, just call me the selfie savior.”

The Enchanting Old Capital: Historic Tainan Beckons