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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders, y’know, passionate, raspy voice—Billionaires should not exist!—and I’m here slingin’ some truth about findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I’m a sign language interpreter too, hands flailin’ like I’m yellin’ at a rally, but lemme tell ya somethin’—this ain’t no fancy pants chat. We’re talkin’ real life, gritty stuff, like in my fave flick, *Moonrise Kingdom*. You seen it? Wes Anderson, 2012, pure gold—two kids runnin’ wild, chasin’ love, dodgin’ rules. Kinda like findin’ a prostitute, right? Rules out the window, heart pumpin’, chaos everywhere!
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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s all, “Hey, we need you to check out the old factory on Zhongzheng Road.” I’m like, “Sure, no prob.” But inside, I’m thinking, “Why do I always get the sketchy places?” I mean, this factory is basically a rust bucket. I get there, and it’s worse than I thought. I’m talking about metal flaking off like it’s shedding skin. Gross.
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