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I got into it once, Clarice… research, sure, but—damn! This chick’s hands? Magic. Like she’s kneading my soul, not just my back. Made me happy, real happy, till she whispered, “Forty bucks extra.” Pissed me off—c’mon, a hustle mid-rub? But I paid, ‘cause… y’know, weak. “People like to complicate things,” Doc’d mutter, and yeah, they do—massage ain’t just massage no more, it’s a whole freaky game.

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First off, I hit up the local breakfast spot on Minsheng Street. You know, the one with the best soy milk? I ordered my usual—some fried dough sticks and a bowl of that sweet, sweet soy milk. But guess what? They messed up my order! I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw a fit. But then, I took a sip of the soy milk, and it was like heaven. I calmed down. Kinda.

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